The Last of the Nippers

Late last week, I received a thrilling package from Maxol HQ. The generous sender told me that he had “literally…raided the safe” for said package’s contents. And oh, what glories were contained therein. So glorious that I now feel kind of bad for previously referring to the Nipper-enslaving Maxol executives of the 1980s as “cigar-chomping, fat cat, petroleum-bastards”.

Anyway, see for yourselves (click to embiggen).

A few things worth noting…

1) My (on loan) nipper came cocooned in “his” own vintage plastic bag (which describes him, matter-of-factly, as a “COLOURFUL HANDPUPPET WITH SOUNDS”). Had he been hibernating in there since 1985? Waiting for (and dreaming of) a liberation that never came? The nipper completists among you may wish to know that the distributor of these colourful-handpuppets-with-sounds was “HIRA (Ireland) Ltd” (whoever/whatever that is/was).

2) The tag on his arse describes him as a “Mattey Product”. Can anyone shed any light on who/what Mattey was/were?

3) If you choke a nipper the results are simultaneously hilarious and disturbing.

4) The tiny (and very fragile) watches came in yellow and pink (with subtle differences in design on each face). Makers were “OMAC UK”.

5) On the “FREE A NIPPER!” stickers Brendan Grace looks like a cross between Peter Sutcliffe and Giant Haystacks…in a schoolboy costume. This may well be the most terrifying look ever cultivated by anyone.

I could go on, but think it best to let the creature itself self-describe. Over to you, my little pink friend.

(by fústar)

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6 thoughts on “The Last of the Nippers

  1. Oh thank you so much for that. Wow. I feel like I’m 8. Mad memories there.

  2. fústar says:

    You’re welcome. I always had visions of Maxol execs travelling out to Nipperland, a la Willy Wonka in his search for Oompa Loompas, and luring the Nippers back to Ireland. At least the Oompa Loompas got to live/work in a factory of endless enchantment. The Nippers, in contrast, just spent their time in plastic bags under a petrol station counter. At night they sang plaintive songs of the old country. *sob*

  3. […] If the above looks familiar to you you need to click here… Share this: Pin ItShare on TumblrDiggPrintEmailLike this:LikeBe the first to like this post. Category : Uncategorized […]

  4. nlgbbbblth says:

    A nipper movie would be great. Preferably directed by John Carpenter.

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